Like it like that.

So during English class yesterday, I asked my friend to write me a story incorporating elements of :

• An orange and purple spotted table
• Susan Alexander
• Pirates
• Wei Shen Me?
• "Not that I believe it, but that I believe it."

She got back to me today with this.

There was once was a pirate called Fredrickweishimagordonamandaleebrownpiratebeard, but everyone called him Fred Beard. Fred liked to sail the seven seas in his cherry red ferrari, and was frequently pulled over for speeding and being a hoon in general.
Today was no different. As Fred sped across the Indian ocean, an octopus dressed as a police officer pulled him over with his long suction caps.
"FREDRICKWEISHIMAGORDONAMANDALEEBROWNPIRATEBEARD!", he yelled, "What have I told you about speeding?"
At that second a giant seagull came and planted a massive turd on the octopus's head! It was so acidic that it burnt a hole in the octopus's green afro wig, and he was forced to let Fred go.
"Why did you help me?" Fred asked the seagull.
"Wei shen me?" the seagull asked.
"I just want to know," Fred replied, slightly confused about the fact that he was Irish, and understood Chinese without ever learning it.
"That octopus tried to shove his tenticle up my ass," the seagull replied, and the seagull flew off.
At that point a massive bag of oranges came floating by Fred's boatcar.
"Yum, I'm hungry!" Fred said.
It turned out that the inside of the orange w as filled with cocaine.
"FUCK THIS!" yelled Fred, "Snorting food is not as fun as eating it." . . . But Fred snorted it anyway.
Now Fred was completely high and started seeing things that weren't really there. For example, a penguin and a tortoise hooking up on top of an orange and purple spotted table whilst in tropical waters. (Like seriously wtf?)
Fred shot them with a hidden gun in his peg leg, while setting fire to his massive pirate hat. Then Susan jumped in Fred's boatcar and tried to rape him.
Then they worked on some chemistry. (what? I'm in chem class ok!)

2C- (oq) --> (12(g) + 2e-

2H20(1) --> o2 (g) + 4H+ (oq) + 4e-

OMG PAPER PULP!

Ok, I'm lost.. wait.. wait.. GOT IT!

Then Susan turned to Fred.

"Let's have babies," she said.

"Fuck no," Fred replied.

"Fine," Susan said, "I'll have sex with some random and tell everyone it's yours."

"No one will believe you, despite my ugliness, I only do good looking chicks!" Fred laughed.

"Yeah," Susan said, "Well, it's not that I believe it, but that I believe it."

"BATMAN BE GONE!" Fred yelled, and took off into the sky leaving Susan to get eaten by a shark.

Fred then put his foot (the non peg leg one) in a shredder and shot a merdog before going to sleep.

MUAHAHAHA The End!

WTFAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH
GOSH THAT WAS HILARIOUSLY RANDOM (: She doesn't want her name known so i shall just refer to her as Elizabeth A :D


Another exciting thing that happened during English today was when Dan sent me this enticingly new photo..
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA OKAY.
OKAY.
Enough AHAHAHAS for today.
GONNA GET READY FOR WORK.

Sends you spinning out of control to the nth degree