“I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about.”

There's this period you go through where everything that passes by you doesn't seem that important anymore, nothing is real and you don't care where you end up as long as you're still alive in the end. 

This leaves you losing respect for yourself and as a consequence, you develop a lack of consideration towards others, especially those who are closest to you. 

You lose the effort that you put in to make that relationship work and in the end, what is lost is not only self-respect but their respect for you is never to be earned again. All is forgone. You question yourself. Why do you even care so much? 

One must never stoop down to this level though, because once you're down there in the fiery dungeons of self-pity and disgrace, it is near impossible to surface. Even in the hopes of making amends, the simple fact that you visited this place of imperfect contrition shall never leave you. Like a shrike, it impales you on your dreams of atonement.

 The worst part is, you don't even realise you're down there till everything you think you have, everything you hope to achieve, is gone :/